sleep

[via]

SO ME.

How do you sleep?



it's funny.

it's funny that life really is never as it seems.  there are those days where driving off into the sunset seem to be the only thing that would make any sense, at all.  not because you are running from anything, or maybe because you are running from everything.  but, life is just never as it seems, although it's everything that you make it.  

there are just those moments, or hours, or days where you forget who you are, forget what you had thought your life might look like, or where you were headed.  sometimes you forget that you had dreams and hopes and goals because you get caught in the right now.  so, why do people say to live in the moment? what happens if you are continuously caught in the moment instead of reaching for what you always wanted? 

it's funny that life is really never as it seems.  

Him.

This is Reynolds.

He is amazing.

I love that he doesn't care that I have done all his laundry.  And mostly, I love that I don't mind doing it.  Which is good because, let me tell you, it's been about 12 loads in the past week.  

I love putting his clothes away neatly and organized and love that he appreciates it. 

I love that he has my spare car key in the drawer next to his bed.

I love that he will rub my back during a whole episode of Friends as I fall asleep.

I love that he can clean the shower like a champ.

I love that after a 17 hour day of work, he will still stop at the store at 10 p.m. to bring me a lunch-able and gatorade.

I love that I can fit into all his clothes because I have doubled my wardrobe!  And even though I would never wear his pants out of the house, it's fun to put them on and text him a picture.  

I love that, even though I am always saying that we are so different, he always finds things that we both like and is always willing to try something new.

I love that he went out and bought a new pair of converse and has been wearing them almost everyday.  He looks so darn cute.  

I love that we cuddle so well and that he always falls asleep on my side of the bed and is still there when we wake up.  

I love his random text messages throughout the day. 

I love that he didn't even think twice about pulling my hair out of the shower drain because, even though it was my hair, it would have completely grossed me out.  

I love that he is so logical.  Sometimes I hate it but, most of the time I love it.  

I love that I love his family so much!

I love that when the music comes on, he can't help but dance.  And, even though he is a total white boy, he can definitely bust a move.  

I love that he always wants to talk things out, mostly, because I don't.  But we all know, it's a must!

I love that I call him Reynolds and sometimes he calls me King.  Even though it's usually when I'm in trouble.  

I think I'll keep him.

What do you think?

the pain that you surely intend to inflict

go ahead.

just stab me, shake up my core by your words and actions.

  it's not like you haven't done it before.

these days,

well these days, i am just stronger

and less affected by the pain.

the pain that you surely intend in inflict.

sincerely, you know.



Dear Creativity...

Dear Creativity,

I miss you.

And my desire to want and need you in my life.

Please come back.

This day.

                                      Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 (I try to keep this blog upbeat and happy, but lets get real, sometimes life isn't always

                 upbeat and happy.)

This is me today.  I don't know what it is?  But the last week or so I have been really irritable and have had absolutely no patience for rudeness or stupidity.  And let me tell you, I have come across a lot of it lately!  I really don't get it?  What happened to being friendly and happy?  Why is it that most people I come across walk around with a huge chip on there shoulder?  Also, why do people always assume that other people owe them something?  Maybe it's my line of work or maybe it is really just me; my own chip.  Who knows!?  All I know is that I always try my best to be happy and friendly to those around me, even if I am not in the mood to be chipper.

I think I am going through something... I think I need a change or a move or something new and exciting in my life.  Or, maybe I just need a break before I lose it.  Maybe it is time to take a personal inventory of my life and my own attitude.  I think I need a vacation away from myself!  Is that normal?  Who am I kidding... I am anything but normal! 

Now that this craziness is out (and as soon as I get some coffee)... I think I will feel a lot better.

I forgot to mention... on Saturday I watched a guy (actually I can't even call him that) grab his girlfriend/wife by the hair and hit her right in front of me.  I can't even describe this feeling.  And, I feel as if I have seen way too many things similar to this in my life time.  It truly makes me sick!  Then, the female proceeded to beat up a security guard when she realized that they were now going to call the cops on boyfriend/husband.  What is wrong with the people in this world?

A Couple of Things...

It's Monday.

I didn't sleep well, which leads to me being extremely exhausted.

I have had something in my eye all morning long and I can't seem to get it out. (No, it's not just my eyeball!)

I continually feel as if I am not in the right line of work.  No work is my kind of work.

I am in my last semester of junior college and you would think that I would be a little more on top of things.  You would think, but don't think too hard, because I am not.

Yesterday the Jetta broke down (I should really give her a name). I have no idea what is wrong with her, how I will pay for her to be unbroken again, and how I will get from here to there while she is hibernation.

I went to my first physical therapy (finally) appointment last week and haven't done a single stretch or exercise since then.  This probably wont surprise many of you, I am not a big fan of pain or doing things that I am told to do.  I kind of live life on my own terms.

I have to face one of my teachers this week and admit what a douche bag I have been this semester.  (BTW, I am really loving the new Kayne West song!  Here's to all the "Douche Bags!")

I am stuck again on "Unblock Me!"  This game hurts my head!

I am a little disappointed that I didn't try a little bit harder or had a little bit more money so that I could have attended Berkeley in the Spring.  My heart belongs there! <3 ***Oh well, maybe Grad schooL***

I have been trying really hard to complain lately.  But who are we kidding here!?!  Life can just be a little crazy sometimes!

Fortunately, these days I am a little better at letting things go and just crying laughing. 

**By the way** This is my new friend.  He has been hanging around the shop for about two weeks now.  So far, I have had many unsuccessful attempts to catch him...but don't worry... I will get him soon!  He deserves to have a nice home in the country and, even though my mom doesn't know it yet, she will absolutely love him! I think I will call him Henry.

Oh, Happy Monday.

Sometimes...

"Sometimes I wish I lived in an Airstream

Homemade curtains, lived just like a gypsy

Break a heart, roll out of town

‘Cause gypsies never get tied down

Sometimes I wish I lived on a mountain

Drank from a stream instead of a fountain

I’d stay there, top of the world

But I was born a red dirt girl

Unbridled or tethered and tied

The safety of the fence or the danger of the ride

I’ll always be unsatisfied

Sometimes I wish I lived by a pier

In a lighthouse with a chandelier

I’d watch everybody’s ships come in

And then I’d sail away with them

Unanchored in the storm

Or safely on the shore

If this is all I need, why do I want more

Sometimes I wish I lived in an airstream

Homemade curtains, lived just like a gypsy"

 Miranda Lambert