you.

I am absolutely horrible at making life decisions.  Even the smallest decisions, to me, seem so huge that I suddenly can't breath.  Sounds really pathetic, I know.  As of late, I have been really hard on myself when it comes to work decisions.  I have honestly had 5 jobs in the last 4 months, at which, most of the time, I worked 4 at once.  It's quite ridiculous if you ask me.  Who needs 4 jobs?!?  Well, this girl.  At least that is how I think and feel.  I feel, because I am off school this semester, that I really need to be bringing home the dough.  After beating myself up, struggling to do things I didn't want to do, and a whole lot of not breathing, I have decided, with the help of others, that enough is enough.  I need 1 job.  Yes, 1.  I may not make all the money in the world that I hope for, I may not have all the things I want, I may struggle and stress, but it's still not worth it to me.  So the decision is made, but the next part doesn't get any easier.  I hate quitting.  I hate facing that I can't or do not want to do something.  I hate letting people down and, honestly, would work all these jobs until I had a mental break down before I quit.  This needs to stop!  This is my life and I should do what I want and what is best for me and not worry about anybody else.  So much easier said than done, but I'm going to start working on it. 

I have let two jobs go already.  One was easy (although I am actually still there) and the other one, not so much.  I now need to face two more and then I will be left with just the one... plus the other one that I haven't fully let go of, but I'm okay with that.  

Wish me luck. 

Ugh. 

Remembering that I am right where I should be is difficult.  Why are things so hard sometimes?