I apologize ahead of time..

I apologize ahead of time.  I know that it has been a while since I have posted.  To be honest, I don't know what is going on with me at the moment.  But, that is not why I feel the need to apologize.  But instead, I apologize for this post.  Because it is not fair that I haven't written in so long and I decide to come back to a post like this.

Today has been one of the scariest days in my life.  As I sat in class this morning, I actually felt that there was a possibility that I may not make it through alive.  I had never felt so much fear come over my body.  I had never been so afraid to move or felt so strong by finally having enough strength to do so.  Not to be overly dramatic, but I really think I may have seen my life flash in front of my eyes.

There was an incident in one of my classes this morning.  A fellow student whom must have been either, off the rocker, or under the influence of something caused a seen that I won't ever forget.  Unfortunately, he sat directly behind me in a class of around 600.  He was disruptive in a very scary way.  His head phones were so loud that the whole class could hear the music coming out of them.  He was asked repetitively to shut them off but just starred at the teacher with this crazy look in his eyes and smirk on his face.  He couldn't stop moving.  So much was going through my head.  Should I get up?  Should I sit very still?  What if he has a gun?  What are his intentions?  

The teacher tried her best to continue on with lecture but you could sense the fear on her face and in hear it in her voice.  Class was silent, except for the blaring headphones and constant shuffle made by this student.  Out of nowhere he yelled, "FUCK YOU!"  I froze.  Even more then before, which I didn't think was possible.  Again, she had asked him to leave along with asking for some kind of help from someone standing in the back.  

It was at this point that I made the smallest, yet bravest, decision to slowly get up and walk to the back of the room.    My eyes never met his although I realized that I have spoken to him before in a prior class.  I also realized that, the first time I had met him, I had a similar uneasy feeling in my stomach, as I did at this very moment.  

I barely made it to the back because I was trembling so badly.  After other student decided to do the same.  I wasn't sure what to do.  Do I stay in class?  Do I leave?  I then decided to sit down on the floor but couldn't bring myself to follow the lecture, let alone take notes.  I was not the only one.  Everyone's eyes were on him.

What seemed like hours later, he decided to stand up in the middle on class.  His headphones were still blaring.  He was now going through his bags and everyone was silent.  He stumbled his way out of the theater seating, running into people and hitting the wall at the end.  We all just watched.  

As he proceeded  to leave the building he first walked to the front row and  would stop and stare at each person sitting at the end with the most hateful and scariest look I have ever seen a person give.  Each person sat frozen, without turning their head, in fear, I'm sure. 

Not getting a response he stumbled his way up toward the door of the theater stopping at each seat.  He finally came to a student who was sitting on the ground in the isle.  

He stopped.  Starred. Proceeded to back up.  Then kicked the student in his side as hard as he could.  The students computer flew across the isle, as did he.

It was almost like someone was telling him to so this.     

The class stopped.  I jumped off the ground and headed out to the lobby.  I wasn't quick enough because I met him at the door.  I ran back in, but not without whispering  to a guy that I was so scared.  I am not sure what I was trying to accomplish by doing that.  I think that everyone had the same feeling but I guess I was thinking that I needed to at least say something out loud, just in case no one would ever know how I felt.  

He finally left the building.  I heard a girl on the phone with the police but it was too late.  Out of a strange confusion to me, and I'm sure others, the student that I whispered to followed the guy out of the building.  He slowly approached him.  I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could read their lips.  He asked if the guy was okay.  His lips said yes and then he walked him back into the building.  I couldn't figure out why he would bring him back in!  He led him down the hall but not back into our class. 

He is still on campus and I believe he is in my next class.  I am seriously scared to be here.  And what about the rest of the semester that I attend the same class as him?  What will be next? 

I have never felt this way in my whole life and it makes me so angry that one person could instill so much fear in me.  I have only been out of class for an hour, yet every person that walks by me gives me the most unsettling feeling.  

Right now, I'm at a loss of what to do.